Fabienne Marneau - The Need to Be Loved

The only essential emotional need of human beings as well as animals and plants, is the need to be recognized and of course best if loved and valued. Proof is found in “The Secret Life of Water” from Masaru Emoto.

When a first child, discovers his sibling in HIS house, with HIS parents, the emotional pain is such that it creates a real trauma for the older first child who used to be the ONLY one.

Of course life is about learning and sharing but the awareness of a child is not able to process the strong painful feelings.

For example I love my two sons with all my heart and soul, however that love translate through different ways, because they are different and my personal relationship with each one of them is unique. I don’t need and cannot say that I love one more, or less. I make sure that they know that I see them as individual as well as my sons.

I find that with Palmtherapy Healing it is easy and a non invasive way to change the effect of such emotions even from far past events.

So often I hear from my clients: “Ho! I dealt with that a long time ago, I am done with it.”

Really? Than why as an adult the same pain can be triggered from similar situations and still hurt?

One of my clients came to me sharing that she wants to be the #1 in her lover's life. What she did not know is that I wrote a whole story about it two weeks prior her visit. Coincidence? Or are we simply mirroring each others experiences and the lessons that we all need to learn and master in this journey that we call life?

The need to be #1 in someone life can often cause issues in relationships, especially romantic relationships. Although it seams like a legitimate and innocent desire, the need to be loved unconditionally is different from the need to be considered first in another’s eyes. Any type of scale implies comparison and judgmental thought process. Needing to measure your place within all the relationships your loved one has could mean that you are feeling insecure or even jealous of the other friendships and connections in their life.

True love does not need to be evaluated or measured. You are loved, or you are ignored. You are satisfied with a relationship or you experience lack.

If you feel lack then it is time to evaluate what you are not choosing for yourself in your life. By placing the responsibility for this feeling of lack on your lover you actually create a greater divide between you both, which leads, of course to continued doubt that you are #1 or highest priority. It creates an unresolvable cycle of doubt and insecurity that may continue from relationship to relationship. Many people wonder why they cannot attract a loving and secure partnership, without realizing that this issue can only be resolve by looking within yourself and at the choices you are making.

In a more exclusive type of relationship such as romantic love, we often feel demanding and need constant proof of love to be reassured and safe. Our childhood background will influence the level of ease or doubt and insecurity we feel.

Generally if you received genuine loving care as a child and your parents had a loving healthy relationship, you will expect and tend to reproduce similar type of relationships for yourself. If not, you may create unstable relationships because of lack of true belief in responsible love and stability. Fear will attract negative experiences.

So how can we improve our self-esteem and faith in regards to love?

First by recognizing the issue and the pain, then by turning to the Infinite Source of Love and claiming the miracles that can transform your mind. Affirmations and daily spiritual exercises can contribute to creating the changes that you desire.

Remember that the same mind that attracts fear and chaos will not be able to resolve anything. You need to change your mindset. Our Destination Harmony Seminars and Mind-reprogramming CDs are great tools for that purpose.

Affirm and know that you are deserving of the highest and best love in your life and that it is yours to choose and attract.

Blessings,

Fabienne.